THE MAGNIFICENT AND THE MOLDY

by Laverne V. MacInnis
Junior Warden of St. Andrew's

Episcopal Church, Manchester, New Hampshire

I recently spent a week in New York City at a conference. It was Ash Wednesday while I was there, so I decided what better opportunity than to receive the imposition of ashes at the Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine? It is the largest Gothic structure in the Western Hemisphere. Even its very front steps make one feel very small. It's mission statement reads in part: "The Cathedral Church of St. John the Divine is the mother church of the Episcopal Diocese of New York and the Seat of its Bishop. In the spirit of Christ, it is chartered as a house of prayer for all people and a unifying center of intellectual light and leadership...Our theology supports the values of community, hospitality, witness and stewardship which under gird this mission." Walking into the church is indeed, an experience. The low lighting made it impossible to see the ceiling! One is immediately moved to a hushed silence. There are many beautiful inlaid stone tiles telling various Biblical stories on the stone floors. Beautiful tapestries are strategically hung to give one a sense of cozy, small spaces. One is immediately reminded of the long history of our faith. It seemed as though I walked a very long way to get to where the Eucharist was occurring. There were at least ten vested clergy participating, including the Bishop of New York. And then I was directed by a uniformed usher to sit in a very worn, plain hardback chair behind the choir. There were no prayer books, no hymnals. Is this perhaps because of problems with theft from such an historic place? As I looked around, I was impressed with how down-at-the-heel everything looked. All I could think of was: "it is both magnificent and moldy...it's like the Episcopal Church itself, today." The Episcopal Church is a magnificent structure with areas that are embarrassing, unwelcoming and downright painful to many of us. I have anguished for many months about what to do regarding recent events in the Episcopal church. Do I stay, do I go? I think as a result of experiencing the magnificent and the moldy, I am now concluding I will not leave the Episcopal Church, but in a very real way, the Episcopal Church has left me.